i deliver my deadly speech
Thursday, May 31, 2007
i hate public holiday!!!
having to see my father face, i juz don't like him...
same as to my brother also...
both of them are juz very irritating...
all of them went out except me...
staying at home and do nothing...
went slashing again...
i see the penknife and start slashing...
does that matter that i slash myself or not...
or i die...
i am not important at all...
the existence of me make no difference...
who will understand the loneliness in my heart???
the hatred for living...
unneeded and being left out...
it's been years, no one had ever understand me...
what i need and what i don't need...
why i cry...
the fear filled in my heart...
i am going to breakdown...
useless...
i know that there are friends who are concern of me...
like etc:clara...
but there's thing i juz don't how to tell them...
i agreed that i am jealous of them for some things...
i don't know what they think of me...
but i juz know that i hate myself...
the stupid brain of mine...
i can't help anything in some projects...
juz want to say that they things that they had but i don't have
thay juz don't know how to appreciate it...
all the care and concern is given to them by their parents...
but thay don't know how to appreciate...
i hate to fake a smile...
and the feeling of sadness...
but i juz don't know how to stop hating things...
my life's full of hatred...
SAD;xue yi
died off at: 9:35 PM;
