Monday, June 25, 2007
well, i juz quarrel with my brother again on fri...
but i juz can't control my temper bcuz of his attitude...
he acts like a gangster...
and what's more is that he even threatens me that he would ask
people to beat me up when i am outside...
to me it doesn't matter at all...
this isn't the first time...
holiday finally end...
today go back to sch le...
walking halfway in the parade square then the carrot pat my
shoulder very hard cya!!!no i mean clara aka ra ra...
her fringe is so short...
talking abt hair rite...
i haven't cut mine yet...
a bit look like ghost, wakakasss...lol... =.=
in the morning i went a bit crazy...
keep on ka jiao people...
until the afternoon then bcome normal...
suddenly felt stress and don't feel like talking...
today i am so unlucky...
mdm fauziah change my seat with ming shun
then i am sitting with that stupid yu xin...
really detest sitting with him or anyone from jeremy that gang...
i know that they doesn't like me
and when they heard my name they will lyk make a "yew" sound...
i don't know what i had done to make them detest me...
i never even talk to them before, what they want me to do???
vanish in this world???
probably i should really vanish in this world...
stayed back with clara in sch to finish some hw...
talk a lot of nonsenses and laugh like mad...
to me the more happy i am =to sad
acting siao and happy is very simple...
now i need to transfer the ans that i copy to that eng ws...
who ask me to lose it...
and that day the last day of sch b4 holiday...
clara and i are suppose to get a copy of math hw but we went to help mr teo
to put the result slip then we wasn't inform...
now mr chew don't care about what reason we had and call us to finish it by tml
well, i shouldn't blame anyone juz blame myself will do...
for being so stupid and useless...
if you ask me where is the best place to go,
i will tell you at nite go to a multi-storey carpark the top floor and sit down...
no one will come and bother you, only occasionally...
sometime also can shout but not too loud or else got people discover me...
SAD;xue yi
Thursday, June 21, 2007
ytd went tuition again...
sian sian sian...
write halfway my shoulder ache again...
always like that one...
i am the second last to left...
left at 9.09pm...
stroll slowly to the bus-stop then stroll slowly back home...
reached at 9.45pm like that...
today my brother's bday...
don't know what to say to him...
so juz wish him a happy baday in my heart...
very hard to speak to him...
nvm juz call him go die...
wakakass!!! =x >.<
still copying the ws...
got to finish copying it by today!!!
but i think that i am not going to finish it on time...
some i don't know how to write...
like the singapore short stories hw...
teacher call us to write your thoughts and feelings...
what the hell i juz can't think of anything to write...
thing that are done cannot be undone anymore...
it's like a scar there forever in the heart...
it will never recover...
but it's difficult to accept the truth...
the only thing that can be done is to try to forget it...
SAD;xue yi
Monday, June 18, 2007
now my hand still shaking a bit....
after copying so many words...
but i haven't finish copying the ws...
sat and sun stayed at home...
watch the channel 8 show:the price for peace...
it's abt world war 2...
some part of the show makes me feel like puking...
the torturing all this...
ytd at 1 am watch the channel 5 show family forensics...
they are so bad!!!
reveal each of the family secrets by checking their diaries and finger prints all this...
but they got no choice that is because it's their father who called
the people to film this episode...
admitting that i am not a self-expression people...
i don't really like to express myself when i am sad or what so ever...
i really want to say sry to quite a lot of people...
as when i am feeling sad or angry i will juz walk off...
juz want to be alone...
and this make all my friends don't know what happen to me...
i don 't know why my brother is so racist...
but i also can't change him...
i really don't like him...
he doesn't know how to appreciate things...
SAD;xue yi
Friday, June 15, 2007
wed got tuition again...
so sian de!!!
chat with clara on the way back home...
blah blah blah...
ytd zi xuan sent me the eng ws in microsoft word...
once i open the file...
my mind tell me "sure die de lah!!!"
got a lot to do!!!
now left 1 week plus to finish the ws...
further more my printer spoil + no ink...
i intend to copy everything...
but this means that i need to copy more than 5000 words!!!
my hand will break arx!!!
not joking i will copy de...
no choice who ask me to lost it...
stupid of me!!!
sch open sure will get scolding from mdm fauziah!!!
nvm she should scold me...
or probably she might think that i am not worth for her scolding...
which means "GIVE UP ON ME!!!"
it's ok one...
seriously thinking i am not worth to live...
then don't know what's wrong with my head...
when i sit down then i stand up,
my head will be a bit giddy and pain...
still coughing but not very serious is like occasionaly i will cough...
now i am still copying that ws...
but i still need to transfer the ans when i get copy...
copying for the sake to do only...
if not i have to on the computer for the whole day to finish...
SAD;xue yi
Monday, June 11, 2007
it's the thrid week of holiday....
so sad still haven't get a copy of the eng ws that i lost...
don't know when will get it...
i think that when i get the ws i need to do it very fast...
or i won't get it
*sighSSS*...
i am so stupid and useless...
only one ws also can lost it...
i really hate myself...
i am getting frustrated with someone…
tell her that i am a free thinker she still can keep on asking me to go church…
even ask me to be a christian
as if my parent will let me like that...
they only can accept me that i want to be a free thinker...
as they are buddhist...
i never reply her on msn she still can keep on talking…
i want to block her but she will keep on sms me also...
so no point blocking...
isn’t it obvious that i want to avoid her???
she still can’t feel that i don’t want to talk to her or what so ever...
if she want us to be friends then she shouldn't be forcing me...
or else i won't be avoiding her...
i am so lucky that she's my pri sch "friend"
or else she will pester me everyday in sch...
(to her: if u see tis post rite... i am so sry no offence ok??? but it's true that u keep on pestering me)
and my mother keep on asking me why i slash myself...(in fact i wan to kill myself,
but once i tink of some things and that stop me)
as if i will tell her like that...
i am stubborn ok...
and she know that too so why bother to ask???
i appear to be very normal in front of my family...
always laugh and smile...(juz faking)
and for sure they won't know that i am sad...
SAD;xue yi
Sunday, June 10, 2007
the fri morning i went out with my mother...
actually i couldn't sleep before that morning...
sleep halfway then wake up...
repeated it for several times...
went to white sand there...
i bought panadol-cold relief...
because i got sensitive nose can get flu easily...
went back home at noon...
until 6.30pm i went for tuition...
it's a bit like daily routine...
my tuition teacher let me go early...
around 8.50pm...
because i am still quite good in that new chap- math tb chap13...
so take bus 72 back home...
on the way home i listen to 98.7 fm the top 20 count down...
reach the bus-stop at 9.12pm...
since it was still early so i went to the car park there
to sit again before walking home...
reach home at around 9.30pm...
had roti prata for dinner...
the curry wasn't very nice so i ate it with sugar...
should be supper...
ha ha...lol... =.=
sat stayed at home for the whole day...
watch tv...
today also stayed at home for the whole day....
it's so boring!!!
SAD;xue yi
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
ytd slept at nearly 5am again...
so whoever also can't sleep...
can call me or sms me...
all are welcome even if u are my enemy also can...
you can tell me what ever you want to say...
your prob...
blah blah blah...
but no scolding of me...(i will juz ask you to shut up) =D
*cough cough cough*
i am still coughing...
probably i might die because of it...
ha haSSss...lol...
don't mind dying...
who will care???
went for tuition ytd...
before that i ate my dinner...
bought a little things to eat...
when i eat halfway i feel like vomiting...
but no choice got to swallow or else my mother will be very worry...
and i don't know whether is i timid or what...
when i reach there my tuition teacher
call my name to ask me next wk when am i coming...
i also can get a shock...
yeah i agree that i am childish and a cry baby probably timid too...
even though my face doesn't show it...
i had asked all of my frens and they say that when
they first see me they thought that i look mature but not childish...
ha ha...lol...
this mean that you can't judge a person by its look...
today was boring!!!
got nothing better to do...
so i weigh myself...
lost 3 kg...
think is i never eat or eat a bit for my breakfast and lunch
than weight-loss...
no appetite...
not bad can slim down also...
squash my soft toy...
so bad of me...hahasss...
SAD;xue yi
Monday, June 4, 2007
ytd stayed at home the whole day also...
i don't know that my parents bought a new tv...
it's quite big cya...
it's 42inch(estimated)...
not very sure...
now my living room got 2 television...
so weird...
slept at 5am+ plus like that...
can't fall asleep...
get used to it already...
it's the 10th day of holiday...
quite miss the days that i loiter around in sch and outside
after sch...
staying at home is like a slow suicide...
trying to look for a job but too bad no job is available for me...
suddenly thought of the training days that i had
in my pri sch...
although it was tough but it was fun also...
still remember that i kena hit by the volleyball and a bit giddy...
stupid of my friends...
serve the ball also can hit my head...
and i regretted for not giving my best during the national competition...
but too bad it's over and can't be change anymore...
i also can't join volleyball anymore...
because there's problem with my knee can't play for
competition anymore...
thinking of changing my blog skin...
but got a lot of blog skins for me to choose but i don't know which to choose...
don't know why everytime i want to say something at home i have
to call them for 6 times than they will reply or they still continue with what they
are talking....
so angry!!!!
today i had biscuit for lunch...
as for dinner i still haven't taken anything yet
SAD;xue yi
Saturday, June 2, 2007
on thu night krystal sms me...
we weren't smsing each other for a long time...
it was 11pm she told me that she got problem and could not slp...
and i gave her some advice...
abd she tell me that i sound like a counsellor...
ha ha...lol...
if i am a counsellor then i would not have any problems...
in the end i slept at 5 am...
doesn't feel tired at all...
and i juz couldn't sleep...
ytd was boring...
ching yee ask me to go and watch the movie men in white next wed...
i haven't ask clara yet...
i am coughing for abt two weeks...
don't know why still havent't recover yet.
but i also haven't confirm whether i am going anot...
i a bit regret about buying the winnie the pooh...
bcuz the body is smaller than its head...
but its cute...
i am already losing interest in the things that i lyk...
juz have got no confidence...
i had never suceeded before...
knowing that i am juz an useless person...
recently i am easily irritated also...
i also don't know why...
i don't want to scold people but i juz can't help it...
was watching the movie "School Of Rock...
it's cool man...
and funny too...
i feel like buying the linkin park's new album "minutes to midnight...
but my mother might start to nag...
because i got a lot of albums at home...
SAD;xue yi
