Thursday, October 25, 2007
damn it my spine hurts like hell...
scare that i might need to have an operation...
what i can describe abt my feeling now is disappointed!!!!
disappointed with my result bcos i think i could do better
than it...
i never focus in the "not so important" subjects...
like d&t and art...
one more is lit...
i don't like this three subjects!!!
so i had done quite badly for it...
it sldn't be like this!!!
but no use already bcos it's over...
the fact is that this 3 subs have pull my result down!!!
damn it!!!so pissed off man!
hope that i will get in to 3e3 with ly they all...
i still rmb what i last spoke in the classrm which is : bye!
i mean i actually tok to the classroom...
stupid me...
i almost break down there...
but as i walk back home alone i really can't control myself
anymore so i broke down right outside the sch...
i think those ppl who saw might think that i am
crazy...
i agreed that sometimes i m really very siao n do things that
will amaze others...
then when i reach home...
there's no one so i cried bcos of my result...
cried several hours...
now my eyes were a bit swollen...
when i gave my report bk to my mother, it's the same no compliment...
but nagging...but i shout back at her to ask her to stop...
i m so bad n rude..
it sld be i am not fit to have any compliment from anybody...
probably she might b tinking tat my result sux!!!
one thing to comment about the recovery rm in sch...
what i can say that it's not effective on me...
it sld be time for reflecting your doing...
but it make me reflect why i am such a useless person...
and things that happened over the few yrs...
i really dt wan to cry but i juz can't control...
as the days past...
the more i feel that i am not important...
i will be easily forsake...
everyone will leave me one by one...(i mean not dead lah!!!)
bcos i have this painful experience that all my friends leave me
one by one...
bcos of one ppl badmouthing me...
i am feeling very insecure!!!
SAD;xue yi (lonely)
Monday, October 22, 2007
i was quite disappointed with my result...
especially lit...
i fail by 8 marks....
damn it!!!
ly still say she sad, when she got 50 which is juz a pass...
then me what...???
i fail loh...
i tink i fail for the overall this year for lit...
sian...
which mean there's two class i can't pick: 3e1 n 3e2...
the sch change the sub combination again!!!
wa lao..
i want biology!!!
then i think i can't get in to 3e3 which is so difficult!!!
the rest all got the combination of physics and chemistry!!!
then 3e4 muz choose btw biology or A maths..(but i want both!!!)
sian lah!!!
no idea which class land in...
hope 3e3 or 3e4 bcos i want A maths...
but if u ask me what's the exact reason i want A maths
i can only ans: i don't know!!!
it's prob bcos a lot of ppl think is good then i also think so...
juz dt know...
i really hope that i will go to the same class with my friend...
but it's so difficult...
i think i will probably cry a lot at the end of the year!!!
actually this post is for ytd one...
bcos my father come in then can't post it...
so i juz add on ba...
today went to sch without an umbrella...
so i was quite drench when i reach sch...
so cold!!!
but nvm one lah won't die of it...
during lit i played a game...
it's kind of fun...
after that eng..
they say do the megazine then what award..
i was being sabo a lot of time...
damn it...
why nominate me out when i am not fit to have that award....
what the hell...
it's like making fun of me...
luckily i never got any of those awards....
after sch went to tm with clara...
we juz walk walk and walk...
after that we sat at the same old place which we sat there
last week...
it's at the 2nd floor near isetan...
HAPPY BDAY TO CHING YEE!!!
SAD;xue yi
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
sometimes i am really being drag down by some people...
dont't know what to say lah...
i don't understand why i want to help ppl that much...
stupid me...
why i can't be ruthless and dt care abt what other's will think..
it make me so fucking angry...
fuck off man!!!
piss off also...
cb tmd nb...!!!!!
pek chek arx!!!!
SAD;xue yi
ytd then i know that it's ah gong death anniversary...
sian...
sometimes i talk to my brother i really very pek chek leh!!!
really don't like him quite a lot...
i think he also don't like me ba...
the first thing i don't like him is that he
always waste the water or electricity...
wash a stupid pot or brush his teeth he will waste a lot water...
damn it!!!
then at night he always on the hi-fi to listen to song/fm...
then after that he feel sleepy...
then he on mute then like that sleep...
how can he be like that!!!
he sld off first then sleep(u stupid pig!!!)
secondly he's a racist!!!
he keep on saying that all the indians are arrogant, proud all tis...
then i told him that it's not everyone...
everyone is different!!!
stuipid him!!!
lastly is that he always don't understand what i am talking...
i explain until damn clearly he also don't understand...
is i am too stupid or u trying to be stupid or
is that u r very stupid...
what i can say is that when i talk to him i can vomit blood...
PEK CHEK arx!!!!=x
today don't have the feeling to go out...
don't know why i am feeling damn blue since ytd...
i think is bcos of tml ba...
tml then know the exam result!!!
so scared...
SAD;xue yi
died off at: 6:31 PM;
Thursday, October 11, 2007
today is another sian day....
almost late for sch today...
but thk god the uncle wait for me for a while..
so good of him!!!
then in the morning got the telematch..
i never play bcos of my stupid leg...
anyway after the telematch i went back to class...
then eat painkiller then i ok...
after i fell asleep in class...
then woke up at 11.18 ba..
i also don't know why i will feel giddy plus headache also...
stupid me...
walk also cannot walk in a straight line...
after the what olympic talk...
clara n i went down to the canteen there..
met hui peng again...
don't know why we keep on talking who diao who...
so lame...
after the student forum...
i guai kia...
i go back home...
u see i am so guai...(puke)
but on the way i also feel giddy...
SAD;xue yi
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
exam is finally over...
but it left me with fear not freedom or feeling relax...
so scare that i will fail...
don't why i am always very scare after exam...
juz can't help it...
omg how how how???
tml got what stupid telematch...
also don't know why i join for what...
i don't even know what's this game abt...
stupid lah...(i mean myself)
juz anyhow play loh...
sian...
it's so confusing...
i don't what to do to settle my prob...
my only solution: SUICIDE...
it will stop my brain frm thinking everything so
i don't need to care anything anymore...
i think i don't deserve all the caring frm
teachers or whoever bcos i let you all down...
i am so sorry everyone...
my heart feeling that i m such a nuisance to you all...
today after exam clara n i went to tm there to walk...
so sian....
then met itzyan, shamimi n raudhal(dt noe how to spell)
after that i see clara back home...
then walk back home...
so long and the sun is very hot also...
but it's me who decide to walk so too bad for me...
walk halfway i was feeling kind of giddy...
then i can't walk in a straight line...
stupid me...
SAD;xue yi
as my blood drip down from my wrist,
i can't feel anything anymore,
it doesn't hurt at all,
it's so numb just like how i feel in my heart,
my mind filled with all the confusing pictures,
it's too confuse that i felt like fainting,
hoping that the blood will drain faster,
to stop all the confusing pictures to flash over and over my mind,
as i lose my conscious i might be in a happy place that i am hoping for,
with all the happy things that i want...
SAD;xue yi
died off at: 10:25 PM;
Sunday, October 7, 2007
*sighsssss*
so sian...
one wk never online le ba...
scare that i gonna to fail lit!!!
it's so difficult...
i throw away 19 marks!!!(i mean the minimum)
quite a lot questions i think of what
then i write...
i really can't afford to fail!!!
if i fail i don't what will i do...
suicide!!!
and the english i also hope that i will pass too...
the editing was like kind of difficult..
instead of finding the ten errors i juz found
5 may be(nt sure)..
english's the most important for me to go to the nxt level...
hais...=(
on fri hor...
after clara leave the sch at around 4 ba...(we were actually crapping alot)
i stay for a while...
then went to the blk opp. the main gate...
sit there and start stoning...
after i want to go 800+
so i walk walk walk while i tok a lot of
crap n nonsense to clara on the phone...
then i cross the road...
whao...i kena shock bcos when i turn
i saw ms kanni n mdm lee...
stupid me how can i be shock when i see cher...
more exams are coming up...
stress arx stress...
think i no need to slp anymore..
be a panda...
today went for tuition in the morning...
my brain going to brust...
now while i type i also kena flu suddenly...
stupid me....
HAPPY BDAY TO CLARA N LAM YAN!!!
hope that they enjoy themselves today...
even though i never go celebrate them...
so sry!!!
btw i don't know today is my bday or what...
bcos my father bought me a baby G watch...
that model wihch selina wore!!!
actually i like the one which hebe wore more...
but nvm it's better than nothing..
SAD;xue yi
