Thursday, October 1, 2009
hais... Today I never go to school. Just because I woke up late and I admit that it's just only part of the truth. I also don't know why today I am so reluctant to go, what I can say is that I feel so emo and lonely in school, maybe that's the reason? I also don't know.. When I imagine next year in school it's even more pathetic I think I am going to talk to the air once I open my mouth. The future is so gloomy..
I am especially sad, when teachers give out worksheet for the whole class to do. I will be seeing everyone writing and for me I'll be staring at the paper blankly or I am able to do a few only. Why do I forgot those things that I have studied before?? I really blame myself for all that I did.
And I seem to be unable to stop thinking of slashing, I keep on having the urge to take anything that's sharp to slash or even stab myself. I must be crazy!!!
Today's really a bad day for me, My parent somehow quarrel because I never go to school. And no one talks to me too. It's not their fault that I never go to school but yet my father blame my mother because of it. Do they know that actually I am very reluctant to go to school, right now I am just forcing myself to go. Can someone help me?? I used to love going to school but now it's not. I really want to be back in the past.
Anyway, I still need to go to school for 1 more week then it'll be study break. But now going to school is like wasting my time, I have no time to study. But if I stay at home then I won't have teachers for me to ask questions, but it's still the same because the teachers won't have time for me because their priority is those students who are taking their O-level this year. And during the holidays I have no teachers to ask also, hais....
invisible; xue yi
